2009/06/23

Gates, Ballmer To Get Liver Transplants, Too

It was announced today that Bill Gates would be receiving a liver transplant within the next two weeks. The reason was not disclosed.

The announcement came from Steve Ballmer, Microsoft's current CEO, who said that he too will be getting a new liver. All of this comes on the heels of the recent disclosure that Steve Jobs just had a liver transplant.

"People have accused us of simply following in Apple's footsteps and copying everything they do years later," said Ballmer. "That is simply untrue. Organ replacement for top level Microsoft executives has been planned for some time now. Bill has been working on getting his liver transplant as part of his philanthropic humanitarian efforts. And I've been drinking heavily since Vista was released, as preparation for mine."

Ballmer said Jobs' recent transplant "was just an attempt to undercut Microsoft's long-planned internal organ replacement program and make us look foolish." The Microsoft CEO said he's planning on having many other internal organs replaced over the next few months, to demonstrate "that Microsoft isn't just some derivative copycat company that steals all its ideas from Apple." No word on which of Ballmer's other organs are candidates for replacement.

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